Failure gets a bad rap and is stigmatized.
We seem to be programed to avoid it, hide from it or be embarrassed by it. We treat it like it’s proof that we are not good enough, not talented enough, not ready enough. But failure is none of those things.
Failure is simply information. Information that can be used to work to become successful. Failure is much needed feedback to course correct, to gain more feedback to get where we want to be. Failure is the data needed to understand something at the deepest possible level. Thomas Edison is often quoted as saying, “I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.”
If you never failed, everything you did would feel “right.” And if everything felt right, how would you ever know what right actually is? Without failure, there’s no contrast. No clarity. No growth. That bite or burn you feel when something doesn’t work? That’s learning occurring in real time. That moment when you realize, “I shouldn’t have done that,” or “I need to adjust this,” is your brain building understanding that can’t be taught from a book or explained in a video. It has to be experienced. It must be felt. And that’s why doing something correctly feels so good. Because you’ve tasted the opposite. Because you’ve lived through the mistakes that made the success meaningful. Failure is not the enemy, but avoiding failure is.
In Jiu Jitsu, you see it clearly. The people who make it look effortless didn’t get there by repeating what they were already good at. They didn’t get there by staying in safe positions or avoiding uncomfortable situations. They got there by exploring the edges of their ability. I often use the analogy of going farther or deeper in the water to see how far you can go before you aren’t able to make it back. Good Jiu Jitsu practitioners have spent countless hours putting themselves in bad spots. Testing things that didn’t work and getting caught, swept, or submitted over and over again. They chased the places where they were weakest because that’s where the most growth was hiding.
Why would you practice what you’re already good at? Why not chase down the areas where you’re inexperienced, uncomfortable, and more likely to fail? That’s where the real progress lives. And when you focus on those areas, you uncover new weaknesses. New lessons. New opportunities to improve. The cycle repeats which allows you to grow and you evolve.
That’s not just Jiu Jitsu. That’s life.
At SBG Sparks, this is what we teach and strive for as a community. This is what we practice every day on the mat. A room full of people who aren’t afraid to fail in front of each other because everyone in the room understands what failure really is. It’s a direct path to getting better. It’s the proof that you’re working and it’s that work that gets the desired results.
You’re surrounded by like-minded people who want you to improve, because when you get better, the whole community gets better. Your progress elevates the room and in turn, the room pushes you further. The cycle repeats.
Stop avoiding failure, don’t run from it.
Walk toward it and embrace it.
Look for it, seek it out.
Because on the other side of it, is understanding, confidence, and growth. You can’t get it any other way.
Failure isn’t something to fear.
It’s something to use.
