It’s important to remind ourselves that our beliefs about a situation are not always accurate. Often, it’s not the event itself that derails us, but our emotional reaction to it. When emotions run high, they can obscure logic, stunt resilience, and lead to impulsive or unproductive responses.
Jocko Willink uses the word “detach” — a simple but powerful concept. Detachment means stepping back emotionally, or even physically, from a situation to gain clarity. By removing ourselves temporarily, we allow the noise to settle and gain a clearer perspective. I once attended a seminar where the speaker described emotions as a volume knob. Turned up too high — “volume 11” as they joked (Spinal Tap style) — even healthy emotions like frustration can become overwhelming, even destructive.
This is where tools like ABC journaling come in. I didn’t invent this method, but I’ve studied, used, and shared it for years. It has helped me better understand myself, and I’ve seen it help others transform their relationships, work life, and personal growth. ABC journaling goes much deeper than what I’ve shared here, but at its core, it’s about identifying and reshaping limiting beliefs and emotional responses.
Process vs. Outcome: The Jiu Jitsu Application
So, how does this relate to Jiu Jitsu — specifically, to setting goals, earning stripes, or chasing belts?
If your primary belief is that the belt or stripe is the goal, then you may be limiting yourself. In fact, you might unintentionally set yourself up for disappointment — with yourself, your coach, or even the art of Jiu Jitsu itself.
Pat McNamara (PMac) captures this idea perfectly in his writing on Performance vs. Outcome-Based Goals. He writes:
“I encourage those that I’m training to consider training the way a professional athlete would. The professional athlete does not focus on the outcome. Outcome-based training is an anachronism. The pro athlete uses performance-based training. We are consumed by outcomes: how many, how much, how fast? vs. how well? When we are consumed by the outcome, it sabotages our ability to perform. Slow down and perform the perfect repetition. Be introspective. Self-coach and self-critique. The probability of achieving the outcome you desire will increase once you let go of the need to have it. If you do what you have always done, you will get what you have always gotten.”
There’s so much wisdom packed into those lines. Go back and read it again — let it sink in. That last sentence? Tattoo it on your arm. Write it on your wall. Burn it into your training philosophy:
“The probability of achieving the outcome you desire will increase once you let go of the need to have it.”
The Mindset Trap: Limiting Beliefs and Self-Expectations
I’ve seen it many times on the mat — students who visibly improve the moment they earn a stripe or get promoted. It’s not that their abilities suddenly changed overnight. The skill was always there, but they didn’t believe in it until external validation confirmed it. That’s a limiting belief at work.
On the flip side, I’ve also seen students become hesitant or withdrawn after earning a stripe or new belt — afraid to lose to someone lower ranked, afraid to fail publicly. That mindset becomes a cage, and it can stall real growth.
Carol Dweck’s book, The Growth Mindset, dives deep into this concept — embracing failure as feedback, seeking out challenges, and redefining success as progress, not perfection.
Final Thoughts: Competition, Community, and Commitment
Challenge your beliefs. Shift your mindset. Trust your coaches — especially those at SBG. You’re in good hands. Embrace the challenge, enjoy the community, and never settle. Push. Grow. Learn.
The word “competition” comes from Latin roots:
“com” meaning together, and “petere” meaning to seek.
So, competition is really a mutual agreement — you and I pushing each other to be our best.
As Proverbs 27:17 says:
“As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.”
See you on the mat — I look forward to the challenges you bring.
P.S. If this philosophy still doesn’t click, remember the wise and hilarious words of SBG Black Belt Cane Prevost:
“When a student asks me why they are not a blue or purple belt, I tell them it’s none of their business.”
Let go. Train hard. And come roll with us at SBG Sparks.
